One of the most important factors in determining a successful outcome for yourself, or when working with others, is the extent to which you are managing your own state of mind and how you are able to influence (positively) the state of others.
A state can be defined as a “unique combination of posture, physiology, emotions, and feelings that someone experiences at any one time”. In other words, any significant emotional state will have its own ‘signature’ – and the ability to recognise the external changes that are indicative of an internal state change will be invaluable – both in choosing and/or managing your own state, or in situations such as coaching, negotiating, selling and leading teams.
In NLP there are several formats that focus specifically on state awareness and management.
Some that are particularly helpful in bringing about internal state change are…
Anchoring a resourceful state
Despite being one of the most basic NLP formats this pattern serves as a metaphor for what can be possible using appropriate NLP tools and techniques. It shows the power of choice (selecting the emotional state to which you wish to have access), the possible speed of intervention (most resourceful state exercises do not take any longer than about 15 minutes to be successful) and the sustainability of the intervention over time (one anchor that was originally set for me around 16 years ago still works consistently).
Chaining anchors to alter a response to an adverse stimulus that is likely to continue
Again, this is a format that is quite basic in its structure but which, when demonstrated to its full potential, does require a high degree of calibration skill in the coach. An experienced facilitator will notice changes in breathing patterns, skin colour and tone (related to blood flow) and brightness in the eyes (increased or decreased moisture content).
Causing a state change by using driver sub-modalities
When you identify the so-called ‘driver’ sub-modalities it becomes possible to create an almost instant state and behavioural change. Examples include the ‘mapping across’ process to move yourself from one state to another…
… From unmotivated to fully motivated
… From procrastination to action
… From confusion to understanding
(If you’re not familiar with any of these NLP formats and would like further details, do get in touch and we’ll be happy to help)
Calibrating and influencing another’s emotional state
When influencing the states of others it’s important to remember…
- That tension is contagious
- To consider what state is most appropriate for the intervention
- To set your own state first … choose to let go of tension rather than “relax”
- To be congruent
- To pay attention to ideomotor signals (i.e. small, physical movements which are outside of conscious awareness – e.g. an ‘odd looking’ sideways twitch of a finger)
There are certain key things to pay attention to when noticing (or calibrating) changes in someone’s state…
|Breathing changes||Deep sighs||Pupil dilation / restriction|
|Changes in blink rate||Eyelid changes / closure||Skin colour differences|
|Changes in muscle tension||Moisture in eyes||Vocal tonality or speed changes|
One thing to bear in mind is that noticing changes in state will not necessarily tell you ‘what’ someone is thinking but it will certainly let you know that something is different. For example, if you have accurately calibrated someone in a relaxed or calm state, and something happens to change that – you then have a set of criteria from which you can assess their return to that state in response to some kind of intervention from you.